


parallel universe

by chroniko



Category: EXO (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 25 Lives, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 10:32:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13611540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chroniko/pseuds/chroniko
Summary: It’s in this realization that Jeonghan thinks he truly understands what love is.From25 livesbytongari.





	parallel universe

**Author's Note:**

> i was a wee lass when i first read 25 lives and it kicked my ass  
> i am now a full-grown lass and it’s still kicking my ass  
> \- end of poem -
> 
> BABBY’S FIRST M-RATED FIC 
> 
> 25 lives is by tongari.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_1_

 

_The very first time I remember you, you are blonde and don’t love me back._

 

It’s the last day of shooting for the new music video, and while Jeonghan has thought the song was nice since its initial Korean release, somehow the Japanese version has him in the mood for love.

Not that there’s any time for that. Contrary to how other people might think he takes his internship seriously and does his best to make sure shooting goes smoothly (if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s making things convenient for everyone). He runs around the set doing miscellaneous tasks, from nudging props back into their proper position and occasionally fixing the artists' outfits.

When the director sits him next to herself as they resume the shooting, Jeonghan’s eyes can’t help but follow the movements of a certain handsome blond—the one with the cute smile, sunny personality, and unwavering loyalty towards his friends. But it’s because he’s behind the camera and following his every move that he doesn’t miss the glances that the other boy shares with his groupmate. The crease between Sehun’s eyebrows disappears and the muscles in his face relax, and something in the twinkle in his eye tells Jeonghan that he too, has fallen under the song’s spell and is in the mood for love.

 _Romantic universe, huh,_ Jeonghan thinks mirthlessly. _Living in one must be nice._

 

 

 

 

_2_

 

_The next time you are brunette, and you do._

_After a while I give up trying to guess if the colour of your hair means anything._

 

Sehun is dark-haired again this time and Jeonghan reckons that at this point it’s his favorite hair color on him, not that it has any impact on his affections for the other boy.

There have been times when he hadn’t been in love with him when he had dark hair, but as Jeonghan turns his head to look at his boyfriend’s side profile he can’t help but think about how lucky he is that this time, he does. Sehun notices him looking and raises an eyebrow.

“What’re you looking at?”

“You have a booger peeking out of your left nostril.”

Sehun scrunches his nose, making a face, before he kisses the younger boy, and both of them erupt into laughter. Jeonghan links their hands together and they continue their walk, just like that.

 

 

 

 

_3_

 

_because even if you don’t exist, I am always in love with you._

 

There is a boy that’s been appearing in Jeonghan’s dreams lately.He swears he’s seen him before, but when he describes him to his friends, everything comes up blank.

“Maybe he’s a celebrity you saw somewhere,” Seungcheol tells him over lunch in their classroom. “From a random ad on the train or something. A random TV model?”

Jeonghan shakes his head.

“Jeonghan’s description was really specific,” Jisoo adds. “He had enough details for Mingyu to make a proper sketch. It was really lifelike. Scary.”

“Can I see?” Seungcheol asks, and Jeonghan doesn’t think it’ll hurt to show him, so he brings the slip of paper out from his bag.

The mystery boy’s features are sharp, his expression brooding, but something about him so magnetic that Jeonghan can feel himself getting drawn in deeper and deeper by the second. He’s lost in his thoughts for a few moments before his friends call out to him.

“Earth to Jeonghan,” Jisoo says. “You were spacing out there, dude.”

“I don’t think,” Seungcheol starts. “I don’t think this kind of person exists in real life. Isn’t he too handsome? Maybe you saw him in some kind of comic book.”

There’s a niggling feeling in the back of Jeonghan’s head that says otherwise.

 

 

 

 

4

 

_I remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together,_

_when you share your secrets and sorrows and hiding places with me._

_I love how you play along with my bad ideas,_

_before you grow up and realize they are bad ideas._

_(And in our times together I have many bad ideas.)_

 

Oh Sehun is the older boy who lives next door, with his older brother. He’s never really known what it’s like to have a younger sibling, so when the Yoon family moves in next door, he develops a sense of responsibility over the slightly younger Jeonghan. He’s six years old and excited to share everything he knows with the new kid and hold his hand and guide him through life.

Except Yoon Jeonghan is fairly responsible himself, and finds that he ends up helping Oh Sehun with his math homework pretty frequently. Not that he minds, because Sehun is nice. More than nice. Sehun’s utterly loyal to him and gives him snacks and lets him nap in his room (snuggled with Vivi) when his mom tells him that he’s napped enough for one day. (Jeonghan believes that there’s no such thing as too many naps.)

Sehun shows him all the best hiding places for hide-and-seek in their area, shows him where to find the nicest cats, introduces him to the neighborhood aunties who give them fruits from their gardens. They quickly become the best of friends, and make a bug encyclopedia over several summers, listing all the best bug-catching spots they’ve been to.

Jeonghan doesn’t eat any of these bugs, of course, but even in his teens he can still feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach when Sehun is around.

It’s Jeonghan Sehun confides in when the latter experiences his first love (and heartbreak by extension), and it’s Jeonghan who tells him everything will work out. Jeonghan sneaks some alcohol from his parent’s collection (after having his sister, who had caught him, swear under oath that she wouldn’t tell anyone) and finds that while Sehun’s alcohol tolerance is _strong_ , his is stronger.

Sehun doesn’t say anything, but simply cries in his friend’s arms. Jeonghan runs his fingers through his hair and rubs soothing circles in the space between his shoulder blades, humming that one song they kept hearing over the radio when he was in the third grade.

“But you know what,” Sehun hiccups once his tears have stopped. “I actually don’t feel that bad. I’ve actually been in love with you all this time, but I value our friendship too much to do anything.”

Jeonghan already knows, and this is one of the many reasons he loves him back. But his friend is drunk and despite his penchant for terrible ideas, he’s responsible enough to not do anything. Instead he smiles, draws his friend closer, and they fall asleep in each other’s embrace.

 

 

 

 

_5_

 

_When we meet as adults you’re always much more discerning. I don’t blame you._

_Yet, always, you forgive me._

 

“Sorry,” is the only thing Jeonghan can say as their car gets towed away. How was he supposed to know that they weren’t supposed to park there? He had tried to reason with the cop and the conversation had almost turned heated, but a passerby—one he would later discover was named Oh Sehun—had quickly stepped in to calm him down.

“S’okay,” Sehun says. “I’ll go through the retrieval process with you.”

Jeonghan lets out a small sigh.

 

 

 

 

_6_

 

_As if you understand what’s going on, and you’re making up for_

_all the lifetimes in which one of us doesn’t exist,_

_and the ones where we just, barely, never meet._

 

Jeonghan sleeps and sleeps and sleeps, but rarely does he actually oversleep.

So he’s running late for his 8AM for the very first time in his life. His luck is usually amazing, but today his bag latches onto the turnstile and he very nearly trips down the stairs towards the subway. He arrives just as the train arrives and accidentally bumps into another passenger, one with giant luggage.

“Sorry,” Jeonghan says, but as he and the and the stranger make eye contact it feels like the world around them has stopped. “Do I know you?” he mouths, but the stranger is just as dumbfounded as he is, eyebrows furrowed, staring with his mouth slightly open, amongst a sea of commuters.

 _The doors are closing, the doors are closing_.

Jeonghan is haunted by the stranger’s deep gaze for the rest of his life.

 

 

 

 

_7_

 

_I hate those. I prefer the ones in which you kill me._

 

In this lifetime Sehun is not named Sehun and Jeonghan is not named Jeonghan but somehow the latter just _knows_ that the former is who he is. Behind practiced looks and plastic pleasantries at grand balls and state meetings, Jeonghan understands that in this universe Sehun is destined to hate him.

Soon enough war breaks out and despite Jeonghan’s advanced knowledge of tactics he sees Sehun’s face and finds it tough to fight. Nevertheless he leads his army throughout battle to the best of his ability, and soon enough his battalion has almost completely dominated Sehun’s. Sehun seeks him—and finds him—and challenges him to a duel, one between princes.

Even when Sehun is hovering over him with a sword in his hand, his boot’s heel crushing his chest mercilessly, Jeonghan can’t help but smile.

“You’re beautiful,” Jeonghan coughs out, but the expression on his face is still serene.

“Silence,” is Sehun’s only reply, and he slams his blade down without mercy.

 

 

 

 

_8_

 

_But when all’s said and done, I’d surrender to you in other ways._

 

Sehun looks really good from this angle, and by this angle Jeonghan means with Sehun underneath him, chest heaving, skin shining with a thin sheen of sweat.

Jeonghan _clenches_ and laughs when he hears Sehun let out a long groan.

“Stop that,” Sehun breathes out.

Jeonghan throws his head back and laughs once more.

 

 

 

 

_9_

 

_Even though each time, I know I’ll see you again, I always wonder_

_is this the last time?_

_Is that really you?_

_And what if you’re perfectly happy_

_without me?_

 

Jeonghan wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He sits up, places his palm over his heart, and attempts to steady his breathing. It’s that persistent nightmare, the one that’s been bothering him for weeks, about being in the right place at the wrong time, with the wrong person, being alone. The one dream that his creeps up on him in the middle of the night and fills his lungs with a murky feeling he can’t give a name to. The one that his boyfriend combats with promises of love and reassurance that in the end, it’ll always be them.

He blinks once, twice, before he realizes that the warmth around his torso is coming from an arm wrapped around him, by the other person on the bed. Sehun’s eyelashes flutter the slightest bit with rise and fall of his chest. The sight is grounding, calming, and Jeonghan feels at home in their shared sheets. Slowly, he slinks back into the realm of sleep.

 

 

 

 

_10_

 

_Ah, but I don’t blame you; I’ll never burn as brilliantly as you. It’s only fair_

_that I should be the one_

_to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes_

_until I find the one where you’ll return to me._

 

Every time Jeonghan reenters the world it’s the same set of feelings that bubble in his gut—anxiety and excitement and love all in different doses. There’s something thrilling about the defining moment of contact (whether good or bad), the delicate process of falling in love, the happiness that follows. It’s not always a happy ending—he wouldn’t feel nervous otherwise—and sometimes their story doesn’t even begin. Sometimes there is no story. 

But despite this Jeonghan doesn’t tire of searching for the boy who embodies sunshine, and never fails to surprise him with his capacity to love others.

It’s in this realization that Jeonghan thinks he truly understands what love is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

∞

 

“Do you still remember that time Sehun mistook you for Johnny?” Chan says one day, while they’re all taking a break. “That was hilarious!”

“He didn’t even apologize,” Mingyu says, looking a little miffed. “Though he must have been really embarrassed.”

“Have you tried talking to him again?” Soonyoung pipes up from his position on the practice room floor. “Dunno, I feel like you two would get along really well.” 

“Maybe in another lifetime,” Jeonghan smiles mysteriously.


End file.
